This Is Where My life Began....

This is where my life, the life that I have now began...

Madelyn Renard Douglas

This is  was my Mother-in law. She was one amazing lady and is missed daily by many. I am jumping ahead......

This weekend found me traveling back to Southern Illinois still referred to as "home", been gone for two years now but it's in the blood! Again jumping ahead as it has been way too long since I wrote anything.

Danielle and Nathaniel went here:

In October for their anniversary and came home with

First Thought was wow how can I be old enough to have a grand baby! second thought wow this is going to be awesome! And it has been. of course this time around I am not the one with morning sickness, fatigue and your body doing all kinds of weird things. As anyone who knows my daughter she is slightly spoiled by both myself and her wonderful husband so we have been busy with "stuff" while she is and I quote "growing a human".

So this past weekend we loaded up two vehicles, mine with the girls:

....and the kids with an empty truck. We made it to Illinois and the infamous "Baby Shower" now that brings up a whole other subject about how I really don't understand this American tradition, but I will save that for another day. 

Nathaniel's Mum, my niece Jennie, my ex Lisa and my ex husbands girlfriend Michelle had planned the whole thing and it was fantastic. So many people showed up. gave up their afternoon to support Danielle, Nathaniel and this new little human that is going to come into our world. The gift's were plenty, the cake was yummy, the punch flowed but what I really tried to enjoy was just the company. Too often now we are busy, states away, our own lives flying along so fast we have a hard time staying or even enjoying the moment. So I watched and I drank it in. So much love in that room. 

Then came the drive home...driving I find very cathartic especially when all you have is two snoring labradors for company. I found myself thinking about the day before. All my nieces, nephews, their children. My sister in laws, my exes, friends who are family. My own mortality reflecting back at me in the faces of all the babies in that room. I cried not going to deny it. Cried off and on the whole way back. Thought of my mother in law, Madelyn. She LOVED family, loved get togethers. So many little faces she did not get to see, so many of the faces she did, getting older, making their own families, their own memories that she is not a part of. Catch my sister in law Cheryl just right and when she laughs I can hear Madelyn. 

So I thought, really thought that this amazing lady who is no longer hear but spoken of often and carried in so many hearts literally gave me my life. I LOVE my life and I have her to thank for it. Now my parents had me...formed me, raised me, loved me sent me out into the world. Madelyn had a son who became my husband. It might not have worked out the way everyone hoped or we even planned but we made two beautiful kids and his family, the family she made, welcomed me with open arms. Stood by both of us when we divorced and when I came out. Welcomed Lisa into the clan and we ARE a truly blended family. I owe Madelyn so much,  I miss her daily and am so thankful for her existence in this universe.

Final thoughts we never seem to have enough time, I no longer take it for granted. We are all getting older as recent events show you never know what is around the corner so make time. Even if its a 5 minute phone call ALWAYS make sure the people you care about know it. We may live states apart, oceans apart but make sure the people you care about know it. 

Jackson Turner Wells we are all waiting for you, you will be loved unconditionally, we have a big crazy loving family and while you may not get to meet your Great Grandma Douglas you will know all about her.....

My Journey to Lexington

I arrived in Lexington about a year ago. So I'll start with a recap of the previous 48 years;

I was born at home in Northwood Hills a suburb of London, the original London that is. In January 1964. Here are my parents outside that house. It was an interesting month besides my arrival on this floating orb. The Rolling Stones started their first headline tour, President Lydon B Johnson declared war on "Poverty" (this is still in progress, we hope) Alec Douglas-Home was the British Prime Minister, the worlds largest cheese was produced in Wisconsin and perhaps most significantly given my obsession with all the Olympic the 9th Winter Olympics opened in Innsbruck Austria. It was indeed a simpler time.


I moved a couple of times in my formative years but spent the bulk of my childhood and adolescence in Great Barton a sleepy village in Suffolk about 80 miles north east of London. Now what you need to understand is while in this day and age we drive 80 miles for dinner or in some cases a decent cup of coffee in that day and age it was a pilgrimage to be accompanied by flasks of tea and sandwiches. Due to the fact that pretty much no roadside cafe's existed then and the roads were hardly conducive to long distance driving (in England at the time this would have been anything over 10 miles. In this day and age it has I believe slightly increased to 50 miles in the British psyche) 

So I grew up in a sleepy Suffolk village, rode ponies, bikes played with my friends. I had no siblings but what I did have was a labrador's Kim was my first. And thus my lifelong love of dogs and the breed  began. Kim was a true Labrador...ate anything he could. I still remember my mother making a pan of flapjacks (not pancakes more like an oatmeal cookie) pulling them out of the oven and sitting them on the counter just before we sat down to dinner. After dinner the pan had not moved an inch but was licked clean and the dogs tongue was still intact with no signs of the thermo nuclear heat he had no doubt had to endure whilst gulping down the goodies.


I left Great Barton and lived in Jersey the Channel Islands not the birthplace of Snookie for a while, then London returning for a while before meeting the ex getting married and arriving on this side of the pond for the first and setting up residence at Shaw AFB in Sumter South Carolina. Can I just say that I had no idea how hot hot could be until I lived in the south. Danielle was born here in June 1987. In 1989 we moved to Decimomannu, Sardinia Italy. Where Nick was born in 1991. Then on to Aviano Italy on the mainland about an hour north of Venice. From here we exited the military and came back across the pond to Southern Illinois. Why there I hear you cry well that is where the Ex's family was. I spent a very happy 18 years there. Raising the kids, divorcing, coming out all the usual things people do.


In 2011 I lost my job of 16 years, broke up from the what I thought was the love of my life, was getting ready to send my baby off to college and generally receiving a message from the universe that it was time to get the hell out of dodge. Where else to go? Lexington? Pro's number 1 child graduated from college and living here, not too far from number 2 child. Con's.....none. So Sophie and I packed up and arrived here for good in July last year.....

Me and my girl.....more later